I Write Like I Cook

Writing for me is a bit like cooking. Sometimes I have clear intentions about what I want to cook. I purchase the ingredients and generally follow a recipe. Likewise, in writing, sometimes I have a clear topic, an outline, and a destination in mind.

But most often I cook, and write, from what I have gathered. Most of my meals come from my storehouses (aka the pantry or refrigerator) and I have only a general idea of what the outcome will be.

Writing Raising Teens in a Hyper–Sexualized World was more like that. I never planned to write a book about raising teens. But through my own experience of raising teens and counseling parents through the teen years I had gathered a good amount in my storehouses (books, workshops, and wisdom from fellow parents) and I decided to pull together these things and write a short book covering a topic that all parents raising teens face.

No matter how old your child is, the topic of sex will always be a challenging one.

From the first time they begin to recognize their body to the later years of coming of age, sex is something that parents can feel unsure of what to do with. While the book is focused on teens, the subject of sex will come up throughout all stages of parenting. Most people who have read Raising Teens have said they wish they’d read it earlier in their parenting.
Parents need practical help for the here and now. That is the focus of this book. What does it look like to parent well with the issue of sex? The book succinctly describes 7 things parents should not do when interacting with their teens on the subject of sex. However, each “don’t” is coupled with redemptive “do’s” to help parents find hope in the midst of possible mistakes.

It was my goal to write something that was brief enough for any parent to get through.

Let’s face it, parenting is a life full of hustling and juggling to fit everything in. Reading a book may be helpful, but it is challenging to find the time.

An important reminder comes right at the beginning of the book:
“It is my hope that this small book will help parents, who are raising teens, to engage more effectively on this topic. There is no easy way to approach the teen years and all of the challenges they bring. Listing several tips will not make navigating this subject easier. Yet my desire is that the guidance here will give you direction where you may feel lost, and encouragement where you may feel defeated.”

I am not a chef but I hope that my cooking isn’t too bad. Sometimes I should follow that recipe a little closer, but other times I just cook and things come together. I am not an expert on raising teens. I have made my share of mistakes, but this little book is a joining together of experience and expertise that I have gathered along my own journey. It is my hope that it will be helpful and even nourishing to parents as they seek to walk well with their teens.

(This post was originally published on www.10ofthose.com.)

Advertisements

A Needed Book

book-coverI never meant to write a book on raising teens. I don’t claim to have the corner on how to do it right nor do I claim to have all the answers. In fact if I was tasked to write on anything I completely grasped or mastered the book would basically have a front and back cover. I am a work in progress and I suppose most reading this would say the same of themselves. Probably my favorite lines in this small book are, “There are no perfect parents. There are no perfect teens. And there are no perfect parenting books!” So why write a book about teens then? And more specifically about teens and sex?

To say it simply, because it is needed.

There are many books on talking to your kids about sex but many of them are things to do to prepare for a conversation. You know that awkward conversation? The one that you dread having and then once you have it you hope to never have it again. This is not that kind of book. This book explores how to respond to your teen when you are faced with the reality that they may know more than you thought and possibly be engaging in more than you hoped. The pages contain situations and stories that come from many years of counseling parents who desperately want to respond well to their teens. Leaning on the wisdom of Scripture as well as faithful authors who have more extensive experience than myself helped me to compile what I hope will be helpful tips for parents of teens.They are tips to help keep the conversations going.

Teens today are being bombarded with sexual content and images making it difficult for even the most engaged parents to keep up with. It can feel you feeling exhausted and defeated before you even get a chance to really try and engage them. This book is for parents who are trying to keep up but also for parents who may find themselves feeling behind in this face paced hyper-sexualized world.

The tips given in this book are things to avoid but they are also coupled with positive affirmations of hope for how God can use even the mistakes as opportunities to go deeper with your teen and create an environment that lends toward further conversation.

The book is short enough that even the busiest parents can get through it. The counsel is concise and practical. It is my hope and prayer that parents will come away from reading this with a hopeful outlook, knowing that God is at work in both them and their teen and that they can be a voice in their teenager’s life that influences and guides them towards a life that honors the Lord in the midst of an alluring world.

Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World is available at 10ofthose.us (<-best price for bulk orders) and Amazon.com