Tag: Anxiety

Ten Quick Tips to Help Your Anxious Child

Published on by elizahuieLeave a comment

Anxiety is no respecter of age. Out of the many people who recognize the validity of this statement, parents are among those who feel the truth of it most deeply. Knowing it to be true is one thing, knowing what to do about it is quite another.

As with every effort in parenting you want to look at the root cause and point children to the comfort and care of God. Addressing the heart with the truth of Scripture is your goal. Yet there are times when the body gets in the way of the heart’s ability to receive instruction. This is often the case when parenting an anxious child. In these circumstances, parents can make greater progress by focusing on and addressing both the physical and emotional needs of the child first, in order to prepare them to effectively process and internalize spiritual instruction.

“There are times when the body gets in the way of the heart’s ability to receive instruction.” Eliza Huie

Below are ten quick tips parents can utilize to support their child who is dealing with anxiety. The tips provided will assist you in effectively managing the needs of your anxious child and help you foster a sense of clam in both their body and in their mind, thus creating a better opportunity for future heart-connections to be made or strengthened.

1- Practice deep breathing: Teach your child how to take slow deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth. This can help them relax and feel more in control when they’re feeling anxious.

2- Encourage exercise: Regular physical activity can help reduce anxiety and improve overall mood. Encourage your child to participate in activities they enjoy, such as sports, dancing, or playing outside.

3- Use imagination: Help your child imagine a happy, peaceful place in their mind. Encourage them to imagine feeling God’s presence in that place. Encourage them to take a mental break and visit this place whenever they’re feeling anxious.

4- Talk about feelings: Encourage your child to express their feelings and listen to them without judgment. Help them understand that it’s normal to feel have strong feelings and that there are ways to manage those feelings.

5- Establish a routine: Consistency and structure can help reduce anxiety in children. Establish a regular routine for meals, homework, and bedtime and stick to it as much as possible.

6- Meditate on Scripture: Teach children how to meditate on God’s word. Use songs that help them memorize Scripture or write encouraging Bible verses on cards for them to see through their day. Encourage them to focus on Bible verse and let go of anxious thoughts.

7- Get enough sleep: Lack of sleep can exacerbate anxiety symptoms. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep each night and establish a bedtime routine that promotes relaxation. Include a time of prayer in your child’s routine where they give all their worries to the Lord.

8- Limit screen time: Excessive screen time contributes to anxiety and other mental health issues. Set limits on the amount of time your child spends on electronic devices. Join them in these limits.

9- Encourage positive self-talk: Parents can shy away from this fearing it could make a child proud. However, all people, children and adults included, have a negativity bias that leads them to easily slip into unhelpful thinking. Teach your child to speak kindly to themselves and to challenge negative thoughts. Remind them of their God-given strengths and talents.

10- Seek professional help: If your child’s anxiety is impacting their daily life, it may be helpful to seek the advice a Christian mental health professional or a biblical counselor. These professionals can come alongside parents to provide strategies and tools to help your child manage their anxiety and connect them to the hope to found in Jesus.

Implementing these strategies is not all that is needed. Parents should seek to understand what is driving the anxious thoughts. For most of us a hyper-focused pursuit of personal safety and control can lead to anxiety but the Lord intends that we would trust and depend on him rather than on ourselves (Proverbs 3:5-6). When you help your child to better understand and manage their anxiety you are now in a more favorable position to address their spiritual needs. Remember to be patient and supportive, and never hesitate to seek the help of your pastor, a more seasoned parent, or a professional if needed.

Pre-order your child a copy of my latest book Count Yourself Calm, Taking BIG Feelings to a BIG God.

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How to Fight the Pull of Anxiety

Published on by elizahuieLeave a comment

Anxiety is a pulling experience. How much it is pulling often goes unnoticed. Although much of what you feel, when dealing with anxiety, is felt in the present moment it is doesn’t have its strongest hold on the present. Instead anxiety is about the future and the past.

The Pull to the Future

Anxiety pulls you into the future and throws a millions “what ifs” at you. What if this happens or what if that doesn’t happen? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I will be alone? What if my loved ones get hurt? What if get hurt? What if I panic? What if things go wrong? These questions and so many others are what anxiety asks persistently. They are all thoughts about the future. They say to you that you must prepare for the war ahead. Anxiety is the forecast of harm and danger that awaits you. Thoughts of the impending harm begins to feel very present by their continual tormenting.

The Pull to the Past

Anxiety also pulls to the past. Perhaps you have had a troubling experience that replays when situations seem similar. Maybe you have known intimately the feeling of being alone or rejected. The thoughts quickly pull you into the past and another set of “what ifs” invade. What if I fail once more? Maybe the money is going to run out again? What if my illness returns? He/she might leave me a second time? What if my family hurts me again? These thoughts flood your mind and say that life went bad before and it will probably go bad again. Anxiety causes you to look at the present situation through the shadow of past hurts and tells you things are not safe. <–Click to Tweet.

Your Body’s Response

In both of these situations your body begins to respond to future and past struggles in the present. I heard someone once explain the physiological effects of anxiety as your mind telling your body that the war is not over. Despite the fact that often, in the present moment, none of the doom imagined is actually happening the body begins to react as if it is.

Your “fight or flight response” has been triggered by the pull of anxiety. In reaction your brain begins to produce adrenaline to aid you against the perceived harmful attack. You may begin to feel your heart rate increasing. Your breathing may become rapid and shallow. You will likely experience trouble concentrating on anything other than the worry. Normal tasks you used to be able to do are much more difficult. You sense you have a shorter tolerance for frustrating moments. You may find sleep is very difficult and so you often feel tired. You might even notice occasionally trembling, numbness in hands and feet, and sweating.

Your body responds even when you aren’t thinking about the anxious thoughts. The anxious buildup from the many thoughts that have flooded your thinking are having their effect on the body. Much like a teacup that is filled to the brim, you don’t notice it is a problem until one more little drop is placed in and then the spillover comes. These physical symptoms can actually cause even more anxiety.

Stay in the Present

So what can be done with these strong pulls to the future and past? The key is to stay in the present. This can be hard for someone who is feeling the physical effects of anxiety. Staying in the present is the way out of the anxious moment. Respond to the physical symptoms of built up anxiety with physical activity in the present moment. Taking slow deep breaths is one of the best ways to fight the physical symptoms of anxiety. Deep breathing actually triggers the “rest and digest response” in your brain. By taking a couple slow deep breaths your body begins to respond to the rich oxygenated blood that is going throughout your body all the way to your fingers and toes. In contrast to the rapid shallow breathing that tells your brain something is wrong.

In the present you can begin to counter the anxious thoughts with what is true. Calling to mind helpful truths will give less space in your brain for the anxious pulls of replaying the past or the frenetic thoughts of preparing for the future. Tell yourself that you have gotten through anxious moments before and this moment will likewise pass. Think of the people who have been helpful to you and remind yourself in the moment of how they have helped.

Allow God to be your comfort and hold on tightly to his truth. You do not suffer alone. He promises to help you. It is no coincidence that in Psalm 46:1 it says that, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” The present is where your help is. He will not leave you or forsake you. Cling to that truth and stay present with it. The Scripture is full of promises from God to be with you in trouble and that he will faithfully help you. The opposite of anxiety is peace. Peace comes from knowing that God is in control when you feel your life is out of control.  (<-lCick to tweet.) Take your struggles to the Lord. Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

*Mindfulness activities can help calm anxiety and give your brain a rest from the flooding happening in your body. In addition to deep breathing, here is a simple mindfulness activity to try the next time you are struggling with the physical symptoms of anxiety.